Captain's Night out
by MoonIce
Summary: The five most stessed out captains hide and party in the human world inviting Ichigo. Revised for mature readers just for safety.
1. Chapter 1,The Problem

Captains' night out

By: Moonice

Series: Bleach

Rating; T and M just for safety

Genre; Comedy/Drama

Characters; Ichigo, Jushro, Toshiro, Kenpachi, Byakuya, Soi-Fon and other characters

Summary: Have you ever wondered what would happen if five of the most stressed out captains in the soul society decided to sneak out of the seretei and go on vacation in the human world.Well I do and this is it

This is my very first fanfiction please be gentle with the ratings. Although I want to do a Hitsu/Matsu pairing I decide it would be more interesting to write a humor story first. I don't owe the creative genius behind Bleach(Tite Kubo) or any of his characters. So without further distraction I introduce my first fanfiction.

Captains' night out.

Chapter 1: The Problem

At the 10th division of the soul society the white haired prodigy was once again having an episode in his office due to the fact that his lieutenant had once again shirked of her responsibility to do her paperwork. Normally Toshiro would curse to the heavens about what did he do to deserve the lieutenant from hell and wait for her Matsumoto to come back from another one of her drinking parties. Why me Kami? asked the little shinigami captain. Why did you put me with her of all the soul reapers in the seretei. Honestly what the hell did I do that was so wrong that I had to be punished by being the captain and babysitter to one of the laziest and incompetent lieutenants in the whole soul society? Then almost soon after he stopped complaining he made one more remark before storming through the piles of paperwork. "WHY CAN'T I FUCKING LEAVE THIS PLACE ."

As Toshiro began to do his paperwork the not to distant Captain Zeraki was having a similar problem. Damn! Why can't any of these drunk losers get of my case? Sure I'm one of the most powerful captains in the soul society but why do the same weaklings challenge me every day? To top it all of most of my subordinates are either too drunk or too stupid to even fill out any of these forms. Fortunately my three highest ranking officers Ikkaku, Yumichka, and Yachiru have their parties at that brat captain's squad. Why do I have to do all the got damn complicated shit? Isn't that why you have lower subordinates? All I want to do is to find a strong opponent to fight but they had to make that fucking law that fucking forbids me to fight another captain. I can't even go out to cut up some hollows due to the fact that I'm a captain. Before Zeraki started to angrily cut up the mountains of paperwork he furiously yelled "WHY CAN'T I FUCKING FIGHT ANY STRONG PEOPLE IN THIS PLACE OR AT THE VERY LEACT GET A VACATION FROM ALL OF THESE SAUSAGES?!

With that Kenpachi began to rip up all of the paperwork he saw even using his nameless zanpakuto to cut the mounds into shreds; but as the frenzied captain began to tear through the paper a sickly but annoyed Jushiro Ukitake was have similar problems to both Hitsugaya and Zeraki. Jushiro was trying to have a decent meat after the enormous amount of paperwork he had to do and started to complain to the heavens about why did Kaien Have to leave him in his time of need and leave him with two of the most annoying third seats in the soul society. Ukitake wanted to be able to get away from it all. To get away from all of the subordinates who'd wake him from his much needed sleep to ask for something stupid like who's your favorite subordinate or will you do my paperwork for me and one time the 9th seat of his squad asked him if he had some dope. Why the hell would some one with a weird ass lung disease that couldn't be cured have some dope? Stupid crack head! Jushiro said to himself. Argh! If only I could get away from here or at the very least get high without dying. "WHY MUST I LIVE WITH THESE FOOLS?!" Ukitake shouted out loud not caring if anyone heard him. As the gray haired captain continued to complain a certain Byakuya Kuchki wasn't having the best of days.

Actually the infamous captain of squad 6 was more pissed off than usual. First his lieutenant leaves him with a bunch of paperwork. Next he had a clan meeting with the Kuchki family which was about to begin in two hours. Athough the thing that ticked him off the most was seeing all of the bills for the **Chappy**** the Rabbit **accessories Rukia was buying in the human world. Honestly how could one girl spend so much money that quickly? Byakuya thought to himself. I mean sure I'm the head of one of the four great noble families in the seretei but this is ridiculous. Also where the hell was Renji? He was supose to be doing the paperwork I left for him but no he had to get drunk with his dumbass friends. The last time I had any thing close to fun was when Hisana was still with me. She really was lovely and a pleasure to boot. Byakuya stopped there before he forced any unwanted grief to surface up.

Almost soon after he went back to bieng angry and frustraded due to his unusually crappy day. Then as the now increasinly angered captain looked around his office eying the giantic pile of paperwork he finally was able to realese all of his trapped anger into one sentence which was,"WHY THE FUCK AM I STUCK WITH ALL OF THESE MOTHERFUCKING PROBLEMS, AND THAT MOTHERFUCKER RENJI IS GOING TO PAY FOR THE SHIT HE PUT ME THROUGH. I'VE HADE IT WITH THESE MOTHERFUCKING MEETINGS, THESE MOTHERFUCKING BILLS, AND THIS WHOLE MOTHERFUCKING JOB! I MEAN FOR ONCE I WOULD LIKE TO GET AWAY FROM ALL OF THIS BULLSHIT I GOT THROUGHT EVERY FUCKING DAY AND GO ON A VACATION OR AT THE VERY LEAST GET AWAY FROM THIS SHITHOLE". AND with that the captain did something he never did before and called upon the power of his zanpakuto an said the chant,"SCATTER SENBON ZAKURA!" With that a thousand cherry blosoms appeared and shreaded all the paperwork and bills to pieces. Although normally he wouldn't go to such lenghts to exploit his anger but he was so pissed he really didn't care.

If you thought these four captains were pissed that you wouldn't even be able to fathom the rage in the cold-hearted terrifying squad two captain from the shitty day she was having. To start most of the Secret Remote Squads shinobi were being denied their pay by the head captain due to the expenses for his own squads remodeling cost and with that they had no one eles to complain to for not standing up for them other that Squad two captain Soi-Fon. Next Soi-Fon's own squad was getting more drunk and dope and even less of there responsibilities taken care of. To top it all of her lieutenant Marechiyo got drunk and smashed up all of her Yoruichi accesories. This was the start of yet another one of Soi-Fon's rampages in which the 3rd seat of the squad had to call captains Yamamoto and Unohana in order to restain her. They didn't however prevent the crazied captain from killing a handful of the punishmentforce only to show that she was having a fucked up day and that she wasn't taking any crap from anybody.

After Soi's killing spree was ended the squad 2 captain decided to take a walk across the seretei. Why am I so screwed up today?. Soi-Fon asked to herself. This day has been nothing but filled with lots of shit but at least the cool night air can help refresh my mind. What I really want is to be able to get away from here and live with Yoruichi and her crack pot friend Kisuke Urahada. At least can I get away from here and see how fun the human world is? As Soi-Fon continued to walk along she sensed four strong reiatsu's. Soi-Fon quickly drew her Suzumebachi and prepared to fight. Just before Soi was about to begin a sneak attack she saw four captains in front of her. Then Toshiro asked," Has your day been as crappy as ours?" Unfourtunately yes it has Captain Hitsugaya but why aren't you four babysitting your subordinates? Asked Soi-Fon. Because we're sick and tired of both our duties and our subordinates. Ukitake replied. Yes this day and this life has really been a bitch. Said Kenpachi. Although if we all have the same problem how do we get away from the soul society without getting caught? Byakuya asked. I might have just the dirty little plan we all need.Said Hitsugaya with a devilish grin.


	2. Chapter 2,The Plan

Captains' night out

By: Moonice

Series: Bleach

Rating; T and M just for safety

Genre; Comedy/Drama

Characters; Ichigo, Jushro, Toshiro, Kenpachi, Byakuya, Soi-Fon and other characters

Summary: Have you ever wondered what would happen if five of the most stressed out captains in the soul society decided to sneak out of the sertei and go on vacation in the human world.well I do and this is it

This is my very first fanfiction please be gentle with the ratings. Although I want to do a Hitsu/Matsu pairing I decide it would be more interesting to write a humor story first. I don't owe the creative genius behind Bleach(Tite Kubo) or any of his characters. So without further distraction I introduce my first fanfiction.

Captains' Night Out.

Chapter2:The Plan

What does this dumbass plan that is supposed to help us escape the soul society undetected pimpsqueak? Soi-Fon mockingly asked. Don't you dare call me that you overly Yoruichi obsesed chick and listen up! Toshiro yelled. What did you just say to me? Soi-Fon asked. I'll put you out of your misery right now you little piece of shit. I would like to see you try you homosexual bitch! Toshiro barked back. Will you be quiet. Byakuya said. But she started it. Toshiro said in a childish tone. Well I'm ending it Hitsugaya and besides your dishonoring your rank as captain. Technically so are you Captain Kuchki. Soi-Fon said.

After all of the arguing was finished Toshiro began to explian his plan. I think that in order to get out of the seretei undetected we should ask Captain Kurosutchki for some assistant.THERE'S NO FUCKING WAY WAY WE'RE DOING THAT! The other four captains said in union. Well what's wrong with that? Toshiro asked. Have you lost your freaking mind? Kenpachi asked. What makes you think that we're going to ask that psycho scientist for help. I suggest this Kenpachi because he has many technological advances that could help our little sneaking out mission and since he really doesn't give a damn about anyone he won't snitch. Well that's not reason enough for me. Ukitake added. Well if Mayuri refuses our requests which he probalbly will we could beat him up Jushiro. Toshiro said. Violence! That has now made this mission more fun. Both Ukitake and Zeraki said.

I still disagree with it. Kuchki said.I mean this plan of yours sounds so wrong and ludacriss and...Will you just go with it rich boy? Soi-Fon interupted. Besides this can't be worse than having to spend your days with Abari and his gang of dumbasses.She added. You got me there Soi-Fon. Byakuya said. Lets get this show on the rode! Ukitake shouded. Soon all five captains were heading to the squad twelve building while being cautious of anyone that would be looking for them. All they saw were a bunch of passed out soul reapers from getting drunk and baked up to their limits.Well if the lieutenants can slack off than so can we. Soi-Fon said. I can't wait to get away from here. Byakuya added. We're almost there and ready to negotiate with the psycho. Kenpachi said.

A/N: Okay I just revised this I hope the changes are an improvement. The chapter in general is short but I think it's still needed.


	3. Chapter 3,Sneaking out

Captains' night out

By: Moonice

Series: Bleach

Rating; T and M just for safety.

Genre; Comedy/Drama

Characters; Ichigo, Jushro, Toshiro, Kenpachi, Byakuya, Soi-Fon and other characters

Summary: Have you ever wondered what would happen if five of the most stressed out captains in the soul society decided to sneak out of the Sertei and go on vacation in the human world.well I do and this is it

This is my very first fanfiction please be gentle with the ratings. Although I want to do a Hitsu/Matsu pairing I decide it would be more interesting to write a humor story first. I don't owe the creative genius behind Bleach(Tite Kubo) or any of his characters. So without further distraction I introduce my first fanfiction.By the way this takes place ten years after the battle with Aizen

Captains' night out.

Chapter3:Sneaking out

As the gang of stressed out captains finally reached the squad12 building Mayuri was busy doing paperwork. Captain Kurosutchki you have guests. Nemu said. Well don't just stand there you dumb girl let them in. Mayuri ordered. Yes father. With that Nemu opened the door to reveal the five captains ready to ask the mad scientist for assistance. Now what are five idiotic captains doing in my office? Mayuri asked sounding as if he were ordering them. We just came he to see a friendly face. Jushiro said in a sarcastic tone. Nemu please leave us to our buisness. Mayuri ordered. "Yes father.", Nemu replied. As Nemu closed the door the five captains almost instantly changed their moods from happy and calm to seriousness and anger. Mayuri can your going to assist us with a situation? Soi-Fon asked. And why would I help you. Mayuri asked. Because we're asking nicely. Hitsugaya answered.

Well since you put it that way I refuse to assist any of you in any of your dumbass plans and what the hell is in it for me? Maruyi snipped. Since you refuse I guess we just have to be more persuasive.Jushiro said. KICK THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF KUROSUTCHKI! Kenpachi yelled. Then Soi-Fon used shunpo to steal and discard Mayuri's Ashisogi-Jizo while Jushiro used shunpo to sneak up on Mayuri. As Ukitake grabbed Kurosutchki's arm's Byakuya, Toshiro, and Kenpachi began to punch Mayuri in the gut. Finally Soi-Fon jump-kicked Mayuri in the head forcing him into the ground and cracking his mask open. Then all five captains began to wail on Mayuri as if he were nothing more than a hollow.

After the five punched, kicked and gang stomped Mayuri for about three hours the scientist finally said,"NO MORE! I HELP YOU MANIACS BUT PLEASE NO MORE! The captains soon stopped after Ukitake got the last hit in and Toshiro said,"We need your help in orde to sneak out of the soul society." Hahaha! You honesty think that I would help you after the brutal treatment you five gave me? The now bruised up and beaten Mayuri asked while coughing of blood. Do you want some more of that brutal treatment you nerdy psycopathic dickhead. Soi-Fon asked as she began to crack her knuckles. No! what I meant to say was follow me to my lab afte one of you gives me some of my regeneration formula which with be in a blue viale on my desk. Mayuri said. Then one Kuchki handed Mayuri his potion and healed himself Mayuri reluctantly lead them to his lab in fear of getting another ass beating from the captains. One there Mayuri asked,"Why are you trying to leave the soul society?" Because our job as captains have gone unrewarded for far to long. Soi-Fon answered. I didn't get a break even when I went to the real world.Toshiro said.

Well since you guys want to get out of the Seretei undetected your going to need the aid of my newest inventions. Mayuri told them. Ignoring the fact that Mayuri called her one of the guys Soi-Fon shouted," Hurry up you pale biomechanical psycho and give us these gizmos of yours so we can get the hell out of here!" Alright you tempermatic bitch. Mayuri hissed under his breath. What was that motherfucker? Soi-Fon asked angrily. Nothing at all just sighing. Mayuri answered. Anyway here is my latest creation. Maruyi announced. Pulling a sheet that was covering the table he said,"This is called the spirit earring." It allows the wearer to completely hide his reatsu from the presence of a hollow or a soul reaper while giving the user complete acess to there power even bankai. Mayuri explain put the effects are temporary and I needs a day for the reishi hiding device inside to rechare at 100 power.

So all we have to do is put these on and it'll be as if we didn't exist? Kenpachi asked. Yes that's all that's to it Mayuri answered back. And fortunately for you I have twelve fully functional pairs of these devices. That all we needed to know. Kuchki replied. So the five captains each put on a pair and thanked the relunctantly helpful Captain Kurosutchki. But boefore you go won't you each need a gigai? Mayuri asked. We already have that covered but thanks for your surprising concern Mayuri. Soi-Fon stated. Just before the captains left the squad twelve building Toshiro went back to Mayuri and asked a really strange favor of him. Mayuri do you by any chance have some good quality dope I may have. This is a suprise to me. Mayuri said As the five captains left to make their way to the gate Mayuri said to himself,"This has been one of the weirdest days ever. I got beat up and blackmailed by five angry captains and find out that the yongest captain of the Gotei13 smokes dope whenever he gets to a point of depresion and miserybut then again so do I. Come to think of it I really shouldn't have gave him the last of my dope. I'll just go to bed and try to forget this day ever happpened."

As the captains headed their way to the gate connecting to the real world Toshiro was kissing the pack of dope he recieved from Mayuri. Do you think we should leave a fake note so our subordinates won't come looking after us. Ukitake sugested. Your right we should leave a note. Byakuya said . Only because if they think that we're out fighting hollows we could have more time to slack of in the human world. They all agreed and snuck back into there squads to forge a fake letter which was easy due to the fact that the soul society had it's record biggest drinking party tonight. Once done the captains remet at the gate and said all together," Mission Accomplished". Excited and confident that they succesfully snuck out of the Sereitei the five previously angered captains opened the gate and went through. "We're gonna have fun tonight!" Kenpachi said.


	4. Chapter 4,Arrival

Captains' night out

By: Moonice

Series: Bleach

Rating; T and M just for safety

Genre; Comedy/Drama

Characters; Ichigo, Jushro, Toshiro, Kenpachi, Byakuya, Soi-Fon and other characters

Summary: Have you ever wondered what would happen if five of the most stressed out captains in the soul society decided to sneak out of the Seretei and go on vacation in the human world.Well I do and this is it.

This is my very first fanfiction please be gentle with the ratings. Although I want to do a Hitsu/Matsu pairing I decide it would be more interesting to write a humor story first. I don't owe the creative genius behind Bleach(Tite Kubo) or any of his characters. So without further distraction I introduce my first fanfiction.By the way this takes place ten years after the battle with Aizen

Captains' night out.

Chapter4: Arrrival 

Ok we're here on top of a building in the middle of Ichigo's home town. Now Captain Kuchki what do we do now? Kenpachi asked looking a bit bored. How should I know?! I didn't think we would make it this. Byakuya answered. GREAT! JUST GREAT! JUST FUCKING GREAT! WE'RE IN THE REAL WORD WITHOUT A FUCKING PLAN! AND TO TOP IT ALL OF IF THAT BASTARD MAYURI SNITCHES WE"LL HAVE TO GO BACK TO THAT HELLHOLE CALLED THE SOUL SOCIETY! Soi-Fon angrily complained. Hold up who said that we didn't have a plan to get around this place? Ukitake asked. Then do you have any suggestions? Soi-Fon asked. Yes I do and that would consist of getting high off of Hitsugaya's dope. WAIT A MINUTE! WHO SAID ANY OF YOU FUCKERS WERE GONNA SMOKE MY DOPE! IF YOU WANTED SOME YOU SHOULD"VE GOT YOUR OWN FUCKING SET OF BRAINCELL KILLERS! YOU HAD BETTER GET THAT FUCKING IDEA OF SMOKING MY FUCKING DOPE OUT OF YOUR FUCKING HEAD UKITAKE! Toshiro protested back.

Okay take it easy man I was just requesting. Ukitake said while trying to calm Toshiro down. Okay I'm sorry I over reacted but this is the first time in fifty years that I got to get a hold of some dope. Now that that's resolve we should start our self-planned day off by going to Urahada's place. Byakuya suggested. Damn! We have to go to that crackheads house. Soi-Fon said depressingly. You get to see that Yoruichi chick. Kenpachi reasured. Well what are we waiting for lets go! Soi-Fon said while her mood changed from anger to almost girly. Now she's excited. Toshiro said while rolling his eyes and following along with his companions.

Alright we're at the Urahada shop now lets get his over with. Byakuya said. The less time we spend with that goofball the better. The captains then went to the front door and kocked on it very loudly. "For the last time Kurosaki I don't have your paycheck now get lost" Kisuke said as he began to open the door. Oh! It's you guys. So what would the captains of the soul society want from my shop? Kisuke asked knowing full well what they wanted. We want gigais Urahada and we want them now. Toshiro demanded. You'd better hurry with that. Kenpachi added on while grabbing his zanpakuto. Okay! Okay! just don't trash my store. We need on more thing form you Urahada. Ukitake said. And what would that be? Kisuke asked. A place to stay.

Nonononono! NO! you all can't stay in here.Then at least give us our gigais you perv. Soi-Fon demanded. "And where are your manners?" Yoruichi asked while shunpoing behind Kisuke. Oh Yoruichi! Sorry. Soi-Fon said with an innnocent look on her face. When did you get here Yoruichi? Kisuke asked. I thought you were across the city fighting a Menos Grande! Yes I was but I killed it with ease. Now explain why five soul reaper captains are here. I donb't know taht myself Yoruichi. They just came here in the middle of the night threatening me for gigais. Then why don't you just give them some and end the tension.Yoruichi said. Finally someone who make a point. Ukitake. said.

Later that night after the captain's were finally in there gigais and recharging there spirit earring, they began to talk about their reasons for leaving the soul society. That's why you all came to the real world. Kisuke said not surpised by their motives. So you guys finally got tired playing babysitter and let for the human world for a break. But I have one question top ask. Yoruichi added in. Where are you guys going to spend the time you have here in the real world. There isn't enough room here and Ichigo and his friends have all grown up and gotten jobs. And to top it all off if your lieutenant finds out your missing this is the first place their going to look. So where do we go now? Byakuya asked.

I guess we just open our bank account so that we can acess them in the human world and purchase a room in an inn. Toshiro said. That's a good idea there little one. Kenpachi said. Will you stop calling me that Zeracki. Anyway we have to get some method of transportation around here. I mean we can't just shunpo across the town. Soi-Fon said. I've got just the solution. Byakuya said. Urahada do you have a laptop that I may use? It's going to take a minute and all the skill that I have to get what we need. Sure thing Captain Kuchki but I'm surprised that you know what a laptop is. Kisuke said before leaving to go look for a laptop for the noble captain to use.

Here it is my newly bought Dell Laptop that is designed for the new Microsoft Vista and has the new AT&T internet service. Please use this to your liking. Kisuke said. Finally the idiot gets us something we can use. Soi-Fon said. Your so cold captain of squad 2. Now I need to concentrate on getting us some valuables that will be essential to our vacation here in the real world. Byakuaya said. Essentials like what. Toshiro asked. You'll see soon enough Byakuya asured. An hour passed afterwards and finally Byakuya announced," I'm finally done with this annoying web surfing," Did you get the stuff we need? Soi-Fon rudely asked. That and more. Byakuya replied. I not only was able to get use into a five star inn but I was able to purchase passports and airline tickets to a resort in the Americas called Miami,Florida.

How many tickets did you get? Jushiro asked. I got exactly twelve tickets. Also I was able to purchase a means for proper human transportation. What would that be Kuchki? Kenpachi asked. It's weird but the humans call this vehicle the H5 Hummer. The add on the internet stated that it would be delivered to this door step which I highlyt doubt. Are you sure that a Hummer is the wises choice in trucks? Hitsugaya asked. Well it could be worse. Byakuya stated. Hold up! Before you guys go relaxing in a foreign country there is just one thing that both Yoruichi and I request of you." And what would that be Urahada? Toshiro said. "PLEASE TAKE US WITH YOU!" Both Yoruihci and Kisuke shouted. We would be glad to. Soi-Fon said almost jumping up for joy. "WHAT!" The other four captains shouted in union and protest.

Why would we waste our time on them Soi-Fon? Jushiro asked. Because they sincirely helped us in our time of need. Once again the chick only says that due to the fact that Yoruichi's here. Toshiro stated. But before I start any ugly emotion that would hinder our trip lets just take them. After all we do have extra's. This just went from being the shit to being shit. Kenpachi angrly said. Well lets get this over with Byakuya said. Hooray! Now lets get the hell out of here before Tensai comes back. Yoruichi stastd while rushing out the door. Wait for us Yoruichi. Soi-Fon said while trying to catch up to her.

As the gang opened the door they saw a humongous figure with wheels in front of them. "Is this a Hummer? Ukitake asked. I guess but it looks like a metal box with wheels. Byakuya answerd. " IT IS A FUCKING METAL BOX WITH WHEELS! Toshiro yelled. I told you that this wasn't a wise choice for a vehicle Kuchki but you didn't want to listen to me. I wanted for us to get that 2012 Mercades Benz with air conditioning, an MP5-Player, tvs in the seats and auto pilot. But you hade to go and get this piece of junk. Okay who is supposed to drive this thing. I'll take a shot at it. Kisuke said. Well if your so willing, "GET IN THE FUCKING TRUCK! Soi-Fon demanded. Are you sure you know what you're doing Urahada? Yoruichi asked

**Kisuke's drive**: Sure I do and if one of you would be so kind as to give me the keys I will be able to start this baby and get us on the road. Byakuya handed Urahada the keys and Kisuke began to start the engine. Then all of the sudden Kisuke put the truck in reverse before going and started to spin the gang around in the parking lot of his store. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON! Zeraki yelled I'm sorry but I have a really hard time figuring out how to get all of the little buttons in the car to work. So you really don't know how to dirve this thing and now have us all spinning out of control in this contraption. Jushiro said. Yep Kisuke replied.

Then suddenly the Hummer crashed into one of the sourrounding building near the store and everyone got ejected out of the car. YOU SUCK KISUKE! The six of them shouted before getting up off the ground.

**Toshiro's drive: **Well if I suck so badly why don't you try dirving brat. Kisuke said while pointing at Toshiro. Don't call me pimpsqueak crackhead. Toshiro blurted back. Technically your the crackhead Hitsugaya. Ukitake pointed out. Shut-up! And anyway I would gladly and sucessfully drive this heap of junk that Byakuya bought for us. There is just one concern that I have to put out. What would that be? Yoruichi asked. I'm to short to reach the pedals. Ha! Figure that the flaw you would have would have something to do with your height. Kenpachi remareked. This is gettting annoying let me drive. Byakuya said.

**Byakuya's drive:** Hand over the keys Urahda and get in. Byakuya demanded. Okay bossy! Kisuke teased. He then threw the keys to Byakuya and got in the truck along with everyone else. Don't screw us like Kisuke did Kuchki. Soi-Fon told him. Just sit back and leave me to my buisness. With that Byakuya started the car and put it in reverse but this time he actually pulled off correctly. Then he turned the truck around so that it was facing the road and drove off, making a right once he got to the road. Yeah! Someone who finally knows how to drive. Jushiro announced. I still need the directions to the inn and I can't look at the GPS system while driving.

I just turn it on and give you the directions. Toshiro suggested. Alright I'm putting my trust in your navigation skills Hitsugaya. Toshiro then turned on the GPS and typed in the directions for the Roseart Inn. Once that was finished he began to point out Byakuya into the right direction but occationaly got side-tracked by either Urahada or Zeraki giving the wrong set of instructions. It took about three hours to get there due to the side trips instead of the forty-five minutes that the GPS sataed. After Byakuya got off the freeway the hotel was finally visible to them.

End Driving tries

* * *

We're finally here at this fancy inn that Byakuya told us about. But although we're aren't in any danger as of now why do I sense a strong reiatsu? Ukitake asked. I don't know but it is very similar to that of Ichigo's. And if that's the case he could probably assist us in getting through the human world. I sense Rukia's and that quincy's reiatsus here too. Urahada said. Looks like this vacation has just gotten interesting again. I can't wait to fight Ichigo once more. Zeraki said. You can't just stay still can you. Ukitake said. 

A/N: Okay this is the latest chapter in my first but most valuable piece of work. I redid the story so that it has less spelling errors and pages for each chapter;Happy now. If you are then please wait for me to update and review to your hearts content.


	5. Chapter 5,Let The party begin

Captains' night out

By: Moonice

Series: Bleach

Rating; T and M just for safety

Genre; Comedy/Drama

Characters; Ichigo, Jushro, Toshiro, Kenpachi, Byakuya, Soi-Fon and other characters

Summary: Have you ever wondered what would happen if five of the most stressed out captains in the soul society decided to sneak out of the Sertei and go on vacation in the human world.well I do and this is it

This is my very first fanfiction please be gentle with the ratings. Although I want to do a Hitsu/Matsu pairing I decide it would be more interesting to write a humor story first. I don't owe the creative genius behind Bleach(Tite Kubo) or any of his characters. So without further distraction I introduce my first fanfiction.By the way this takes place ten years after the battle with Aizen

Captains' night out.

Let the party begin.

A/N: This chapter is going to be a bit longer than the other four.

Alright we finally made it to the inn and the best part is Byakuya didn't run over anyone. Ukitake said. I mean yeah we got money in the bank but when it comes to human world lawsuits we've got nothing. Ok lets just sign in to this place before our lieutenants find us. Soi-Fon suggested. HAHAHAHAHA!!! Your honestly worried about that? Yoruichi and Kisuke both asked while still laughing hard. There still lieutenants Yoruichi.ane they're going to catch on to our disappearance. Yeah right. By the time they catch on three years would have gone by. Kisuke said. Okay all of this talking has made me bored out of my freaking mind. Kenpachi interupted. Can we just find Ichigo and kill him. No! And first we have to get our...Toshiro was cut short by a pair of keys being tossed to him by Byakuya. Your room is upstair, you all can just walk around if you like. Byakuya suggested. What are you going to do Kuchki.? Kenpachi asked. I'm just going to say hello to Ichigo. Byakuya answered while hiding a loaded pistol from site.

Not to far from the captains and ex-captains five friends were talking about how much their jobs sucked. Well this is boring as all fuck. Ichigo said. Then what do you suggest we do stupid? Rukia asked. What regular twenty-six year olds should do when they take three weeks off. Ichigo replied. But we're not regular twenty-six year old Ichigo. Orihime added. And also we don't have anything vacation plans. Uryu stated. So the only thing we can do is just sit here in this inn until we have to go back to work. Chad concluded. Nononono! I don't want to got back to that boring office. Ichigo pouted. Then once again I must ask Ichigo, What are we supposed to do? Rukai said. Suddenly the door was blown away and gunfires were hear in the entire room. What's happening. Orihime asked. Argh! It's probably just a robber trying to get our money. Ishida pointed out. Then lets kick his ass. Ichigo stated. When the five looked at the door way they didn't see a burglar but the famouus squad 6 captain Byakuya Kuchki holding a pistol in his right hand.

Hello Rukia. Byakuya said. Brother! What are you doing here? Rukia asked. And why did you just blow off the...(BANG!) Ichigo's sentence was cut short by Byakuya nearly shooting him in the head. Be quiet Kurosaki. Byakuya demanded. Now tell me sister. This is jst a question but are you still a virgin? Umm... Sorry brother but I am not. Rukia replied while giving a depressed look at her brother. I see, well it seems that I must assert my authority as your older brother. Byakuya then began to shoot at Ichigo while shooting at his friends that were getting in the way. Ichigo dodged the bullets but couldn't dodge an incoming Byakuya tackling him on the floor. Beofre Ichigo could get up he found himslef being punched n the face by the angered captain. Why the hell did you take my siser's virginity. You son of a bitch. How dare you. Then two men with white hair rushed into the room and restrained. Byakuya. Will you calm down. Ukitake said. Yeah it isn't that much of a big deal. Hitsugaya added. So that's where you all were. Kisuke said as Yoruichi, Soi-Fon and Kenpachi followed behind him.

After that event was all over Jushiro began explaining why they were in the real world. Wow! Who would have thought that even captains got sick of their jobs. Ichigo said. Well why can't we? I mean our lieutenants get to slack off almost everyday. Toshiro said. That's because your a weak captain and you just a kid. Soi-Fon replied coldly. Will you get a life? Toshiro barked back. I have a life Hitsugaya unlike you who's forced to stay in his little office doing your lazy ass lieutenant's paperwork. Oh that's right! You have a life as a homosexual bitch! Aw fuck you! You little chibi captain. FUCK YOU BITCH! The two captains continued to argue until Byakuya broke them up. Will you stop arguing Soi-Fon? Yoruichi asked. In case you haven't noticed they're other people in the building besides us. Sorry Yoruichi. Soi-Fon said in a apologetic voice.

Okay so what are you guys gonna do for fun? Ichigo asked. Yeah you must have some agenda brother. Rukia added. Well I was planning to fight Kurosaki again just for the hell of it but these punks won't let me. Kenpachi stated. But if Ichigo were to fight Zeraki wouldn't he release a bunch of reaitsu that would lead the soul society here. Actually we found a loop hole around that Orihime. Ukitake said while moving some of his long white hair from his ear revealing the spirit earring. Thanks to this little gaget we are able to use our full power without attracting hollows or causing spiritual influences. Then why can't I fight? Kenpachi asked. Because it's a waste of time Zeraki. Toshiro answered. Um...although you guys have already gone off the deep end, what are you supposed to be doing while here in the real world? Chad asked. Yeah you crazy soul reapers are going off topic. Uryu added

Oh! That's simple! We're just going on a little vacation across this blue planet. Kisuke said. And thanks to Byakuya we have cash, plane tickets, passports and a car. Yoruichi added. That sounds like fun! Can we come along? Orihime asked. Sure! We do have extras and Hitsugaya even has some dope in case you feel a little down. Ukitake said. Okay they can come but for the last time Ukitake, NONE OF YOU FUCKERS ARE SOMKING THIS! The angry white-haired captain yelled. Well the flight isn't until tommorow so we can just stay here for the night. Byakuya said. Great yet another night I have to live in boredome. Kenpachi said in dissapointment. Srop complaining Zeraki! Soi-Fon commanded. At least we have our own rooms. Alright! Knowing that I'll actually be doing something on this vacation is reassuring. Ichigo said. Now if you would be so kind, Get out of my room. You don't have to order us out. Ukitake suggested.

As the captains and ex-captains let Ichigo's room his friends were all going back to theirs. Kisuke! Ichigo shouted. Yes Kurosaki? Before you go I just got one question to ask. And what would that be? Where's my money?

Midnight had came quicker than expected. Byakuya and all the other captains were sleeping. Yoruichi was awake patching up Kisuke's wounds from being beat up by Ichigo. Chad Uryu and Orihime were also asleep in their rooms while Rukia was snuglgled up in Ichigo's arms. Awwwww! So peaceful. You think that they're having a good night which they are but the next morning the group were in for a rude awakeining.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN OUR FLIGHT IS IN TEN MINUTES! The group said in union. Aw crap! Aw crap! Aw crap! Aw crap! Aw shit! Uryu complained. You shouldn't curse like that Uryu. Orhihime said. Well this is some shit! Kenpachi added. Do you guys have any other means of gettingf to the airport before our plane takes off? Ichigo asked. Well we have that ugly box on wheels that Byakuyau bought. Soi-Fon suggested. Well it can't be that bad. Rukia said. You say so, but you won't be saying that once you see it. Ukitake stated. Will you shut up a come to the parking lot. Byakuya demanded. Yes we're finally on the move. Kenpachi said.

Okay what the fuck is this big pile of shit in front of us?Ichigo asked. (SMACK!) Ow! What was that for Rukia? Don't you say that about the vehicle my brother bought. Okay he might have bought it but I'm not getting anywhere near it. Uryu said in protest. Besides we've got less that five minutes before our plane departs. Don't worry guys I got that covered. Toshiro said. And how did you get our dilema taken care of. Yoruichi asked. You'll all see soon enough. Now just get in. It's enough room for all of us plus some space. Alright Toshiro but this had better be worth it Toshiro. Ichigo stated. How many times must I say this it's Captain Hitsugaya to you. Will you just drop it kid. Kenpachi interrupted. He's never going to call you by that title and you should just get used to it.

Great! I have to right in a metal laughing stock with a bunch of soul reaper captains. Uryu complained. Well it could be worse Ishida. Chad said. How? Well you could be riding in here with a bunch of soul reaper lieutenants. Good point. As Uryu and Chad got in the hummer Byakuya pushed a button on the door that closed all of the doors to the truck. Alright Kuchki go to the same airport we were originally heading to. Toshiro directed. I got a special surprise for us there.

Once the captains got to the airport Hitsugaya went to go make some arrangements. When he was finished he came back to the group and told him that they no longer needed tthe plane tickets. He also told them to follow him to a special hangar. Okay what plane are we supposed to be catching Hitsugaya. Soi-Fon asked. We're not catching a plane. In fact we're getting on something even better. And what would that be Toshiro? Kenpachi also asked. Just open the door. The squad eleven captain openend the door to see outside a luxiourious silver private jet. WOW! The group said in union. This is sooo pretty. How were you able to afford it Hitsugaya. Orihime asked. Toshiro then pulled out a newer version of the Blackberry phone from his pocket. Turns out that with enough skill a captain can access their bank account from the soul society and use it as currency in the human world. The best part is that I was able to rent this for only $68,490.75.

DAMN THAT"S A LOT OFF MONEY! The humans shouted in union. What are you so surprised about? Kenpachi asked. The average soul reaper captain gets paid 20x that amount.Ukitake added! Besides since I'm from a noble family I get paid ten times the amount the other captains are paid. Byakuya concluded. Alright lets go to Florida. Kisuke said. Wait a minute Florida! Ichigo said in shock. Miami to be exact. Ukitake replied. If I would have known I was traveling half around the world witth you guys I would have just stayed in the inn. It can't be that bad Ichigo. Rukia reassured. Besides when we get there we can play your favorite game and I kow how horny you get once we start playing. Alright I'll go Rukia. Ichigo said while trying to supress the dirty thoughts in his head. Good then lets go. Hitsugaya ordered. The group then got in Toshiro's luxiorious jet and got ready to fly to America.

_Okay the rest is just some unessesary stuff that you really won't care for._

_Yes they flew for a while and landed in on of the airports in Miami. _

_Also they got situated and aquanted in the new enviroment and did some fun activities on their spare time._

_Yeah! A bunch of stuff I don't really have to cover._

_But before I cover the rest of the captains interesting vacation I had better inform you guys on how the lieutenants are doing in the soul society._

In the Squad 10 building which was still a reck from the drinking party last night Rangiku Matsumoto had just woke up. Urgh! My head is still throbbing.Maybe I drank too much sake. A hungover Matsumoto Managed to get out. Let me go find my captain before he cuses me out about not being on time for work. Matsumoto then went to her captains office expecting to see him doing a bunch of paperwork. But when she opend the door to she didn't see him but instead a humongous pile of paperwork surrounding his desk. Hey captain where are y... Matsumoto's question was cut off by seeing a small piece of paper on Toshiro's desk. My captain left a letter? Well it wouldn't hurt to read it. Matsumoto then picked up the little sheet and began to read it.

In the not to distant Squad 11 building Yachiru had just got finished making fun of an annoyed and hungover Ikkaku and was looking for Zeraki. Kennny! Where are you? Yachiru shouted in a childish manner. The young lieutenant then openned the door to Kenpachi's office but didn't see him but she did she abunch of shreded paper scattered all over the room. Kenny did you do all of this? Asked a confused Yachiru. Then fron the giantic mess she saw a folded up blue piece of paper. I wonder what this is. Yachiru said as she went to go get the sheet off paper.

Meanwhile at the Squad 13 building Kiyone and Sentaro were having their daily argue about who Ukitake respected more(Although in reality he thinks they're both annoying as fuck. ). I deserve the captain's respect more! Shouted an out off breathe Sentaro. No! I deserve the captain's respect more! Kiyone came back. Well we'll see about that because today I'm going to ask the captain which one off us he truly respects more. Sentaro stated. Well go ahead you big ape becaues he gonna say it's me. Kiyone confidently proclaimed. I doubt that since I'm the one carrying his medicine. Not anymore! Kiyone then snatched the bottle away from Sentaro and managed to get to Ukitake's office first. Captain I got your... Hey where are you Captain Ukitake? Kiyone asked. HEY CAPTAIN YOUR MOST LOYAL SUBORDINATE HAS ARRIVED! Sentaro shouted as he leaped into his office. Hey where is he? He not he as you can plainly see but what is that small piece of paper doing on the captain's desk? The two then went for the piece of paper and looked at the small message on it.

A certain Renji Abari of Squad 6 was in a similar situation but instead of finding a piece of paper on his captain's desk he found a sticky note on one of the subordinate's forehead. Now why does a passed out soul reaper have astiky note on his head? Renji asked. First I find Byakuya's office in ruin and now this. Okay this is officially the weirdest hangover I have ever had. I mean seriously I think I'm seeing things. I can't even find hearted hardass around here. Oh well i's isn't like I'm in a rush to see him. Renji then looked at the unconcious man more carefully and saw a little message on it. I wonder what type of shit this is. Renji said before trying to read the small letters on the note.

Finally a stoned Marechiyo was waking up for his little sake coma. After he shook off the tired feeling around him he tried to get to his captain's office as fast as he could before Soi-Fon came to him and... well... let's just say he wouldn't be breathing without a machine. Marechiyo quikly openned the door to his captain's office ready to either experience a long lecture about how he shouldn't be drinking so much or the worse ass-beating in his entire life. But what the big lieutenant didn't expect to see was an empty room with a small note on the desk. Whew! for a second I thought I was a deadman but this piece of paper should be taken care off. As Marechiyo walked over to Soi-Fon's desk he looked at the sheet and began to unfold it, revealing a note writen by his captain.

* * *

**The Note **

**(This is a brief but funny little section of this chapter in which the lieutenants of the five squads read the note their captain left. )**

**Marechiyo: If you are reading this than that must mean your finally awake and over that drinking party you had. I've already left for a mission in the real world with four other captains.**

**Renji: We were assigned a midnight mission to track down and eliminate five very dangerous espada roaming around the human world. Since there current location is technically unknown due to the fact that they are constantly mobile we will be on the look out here for a while.**

**Kiyone and Sentaoro:Despite this I still expect the daily duties of the squad to be performed and not neglected. I expect this to not be much of an issue.**

**Yachiru: So in conclusion this is just the outlook on what will be happening for the next couple of days. After I finish having my fun I'll be back as soon as possible.**

**Rangiku: P.S before you do anything I would just like to say, "LEAVE MY BANK ACCOUNT THE FUCK ALONE! IT'S A MIRACLE I WAS ABLE TO PAY ALL OF THOSE DRINKING TABS AND LOANS, AND DEBTS I HAD DUE TO YOU USING ALL OFF MY FUCKING MONEY! DON'T TOUCH IT DAMNMIT!**

**He just had to cuse me out today even if it was just a letter. Rangiku said slightly a little frustrated.**

Okay end of what's hapening in the soul society for now. Although I skipped a few parts the main event is about to begin.

On an expensive megayat about 50 feet aawy from the Miami shoreline the biggest party in the state(and probably the most popular one in the country)was on and popping.

WHOOOHO! THIS IS THE BEST PARTY I"VE EVER BEEN TO! A now drunk Ichigo shouted. You had better believe that man! A near by and also drunk Chad added. For a messed up crazy country the U.S isn't so bad. Hitsugaya also added. I mean look Ukitake's flirting with twenty girls at once, Byakuya and Uryu are killing at the slots in the casino below us, Orihime is having a ball at the buffet, Rukia, Soi-Fon and Yoruichi are having a popping competition with some famous female dancers. I think one of their names was Rhianna I'm not sure.I know that Kisuke is also having his fair share of fun by trying out all those car models that are in the below deck driving room.

It's okay but not as fun as I thought it would be. Kenpachi said a little disappointed. I still would have rather been in some fight. What do you mean. In case you've forgoten we put billions into this party an we can't just let it go to waste. I mean they're a bunch of lovely women here and celebreties that are very popular here. Toshiro reassured. I know but still it sounds boring. Kenpachi asked. We are you sure you want fight a drunk 26 Ichigo right now. Argh! I hate it when you make sense. If you want to fight that badly you can always go to the boxing tournament some profesionals in this country are hosting. All right finally something interesting. Kenpachi said in excitement. Later kid. Kenpachi then sped off to the lower level of the ship.

Great now I'm stuck with two drunks a white-haired flirt that's also drunk and some freaky dancers. But hey if that's what they do in America than I guess I can go with it. After all it is a party that Byakuya, Soi-Fon and I paid for. With that Toshiro joined in with the popping and break dancing competions that were held in which he was surpisingly good at.

Now this was officially a captain's night out.

A/N: Wow! this was a long chapter and the next one might be even longer. I know it's be a minute since I updated but hey I was sort of busy. So please review


	6. Chapter 6,Busted:Part One

Captains' night out

By: Moonice

Series: Bleach

Rating; T and M just for safety

Genre; Comedy/Drama

Characters; Ichigo, Jushro, Toshiro, Kenpachi, Byakuya, Soi-Fon and other characters

Summary: Have you ever wondered what would happen if five of the most stressed out captains in the soul society decided to sneak out of the Sertei and go on vacation in the human world.well I do and this is it

This is my very first fanfiction please be gentle with the ratings. Although I want to do a Hitsu/Matsu pairing I decide it would be more interesting to write a humor story first. I don't owe the creative genius behind Bleach(Tite Kubo) or any of his characters. So without further distraction I introduce my first fanfiction.By the way this takes place ten years after the battle with Aizen

Captains' night out.

Busted;Part 1

The party hade just reached a point where no one thought it could get any better. Toshiro, Ukitake, Chad, Ichigo and Kenpachi had finally got a chance to smoke some of Hitsugaya's dope. Yoruichi had won the popping contest and even got an award for it. Byakuya was also having his share of good times by befriending some very powerful buisnessmen in America. And how could I forget Uryu, Orihime, and Kisuke. Yeah Uryu earned a killing from the slots and was spending every dollar of his newly aquired millions on a bunch of high-tech gizmos. Orihime on the other hand wasn't doing so good due to the fact that she had to run from pimps trying to get her to be a prostitute. Last but not least Kisuke Urahada had finally learned how to drive well and decided to go up to the deck and check on Yoruichi and Soi-Fon . Yaeh everyone was having fun tonight but then it happen.

All of the sudden the boat was surrounded by S.W.A.T boats and helecopter. At that point most of the guest had gone into a panic and started to call their lawyers. As the troops began to board the ship the group came out and readied themselves to fight.

FREEZE! YOUR ALL UNDER ARREST! Demanded a tall muscular dark skinned man in one of the uniforms similar to the guard surrounding them.

Who the fuck are you? Soi-Fon asked.

Are you that retarded bitch? Isn't it obvious that I'm the leader of this S.W.A.T force squad. The names Thomas Goodman and I'll be arresting you motherfuckers tonight. What the fuck did you just call me you piece of shit? Soi-Fon barked back angrily. Oh hellllllllllll no. You didn't just asy that to me you crackheaded bitch. Besides your the one carrying drugs and other illegal property on this ship. Now I was going to be nice to you hoes but since your talk to me like that I'm just gonna get to cocking on you bitch asses. Goodman shouted back.

Beat those motherfucker!

The guard then charged at the group with nightsticks while dispersing to apprehend the other guest on the ship. Where's Ichigo? Rukia asked. Almost as soon as she asked that she saw a huge cloud of smoke coming from one of the rooms on the deck. I wonder if he's in here. Don't wonde! Get there dumb asses and get off of this motherfucking ship. Yoruichi demanded. I'll follow up after I get finished beating the living shit out of a few of these guts. Soi-Fon go find Byakuya, Uryu and Orihime. Okay Yoruich but are you seriously going to fight all off these guys? NO! That's why I have Kisuke here.Yoruichi said while pointing at the blond haired man. What the f...Kisuke had to cut off his sentence and kick one of the charging guards into the water.

Wow America sucks! Kisuke said. Stop talking and help me take down these motherfucker.Yoruichi demanded as she took out twelve men at once. Okay but you don't have to yell. Then the remaining guards put their nightsticks up and pulled out some automatics and shotguns.Blow the fuck out of these motherfucker! Goodman once again demanded. Aw shit! Both Kisuke and Yoruichi said in union.

As the two began beating some more of the S.W.A.T force members while dodging bullets,Rukia had just got to the door and began to open it.There she saw a passed out group of shinigami along with Chad and a burning pack of dope.WAKE THE HELL UP YOU CRACKHEADS! Rukia shouted. No I don't wanna. Toshiro said in a childlike voice. Man I am starving! Ukitake said while rubbing his stomach. Whoohoohoohoo! Ichigo shouted as he began to dance around. Hehehehehehe! Funny spinny heads! Chad said as he began to giggle like a child. I'm dizzy,I'm hungry,I'm bored,I'm tired. Kenpachi also complained in achildlike tone. Wow you really are baked as hell. Rukia said in shock while trying to drag her high boyfriend along with the rest of the crackheads.

When Rukia had gotten them to one of the helicopters Byakuya,Soi-Fon, Yoruichi and the rest of the group met her there. Does anyone know how this works? Rukia asked. I do. Byakuya replied. Now get on before those people get us. As everyone got on Byakuya had started the helicopter and took off.

They're getting away sir. Said one of the officer. No shit! Goodman said sarcastically. Search the ship for any other unauthorized property, I'll just go to Miami and track down those son of a bitches myself. As the officer went to tell the others about the order Goodman gave. He personally assembled his own squad to track the captains and friend down. Alright start the choper I want to catch those drug dealers before they get out off the city. Soon the S.W.A.T team were hot on their trail.

What the hell just happened? Orihime asked. We just got ambushed by the American S.W.A.T team and now we're running from them. Where were you in all of this? Yoruichi asked. And Rukia tell me why Ichigo, Hitsugaya, Kenpachi, Ukitake, and Chad are acting like retards. Oh! Toshiro finally smoked that dope he had and apparantly shared it.Great we have five dopamines on board. Byakuya complained. Look the authorities are gaining on us. Ishida warned

OooooH! I wannta touch the pretty lights! Chad said childishly.

Hippity Hoppity Hippity hop, the Easter bunny's on it's way! Toshiro sang.

I like pie! Ichigo blurted out.

It's all grooovy man! Kenpachi added in a hippie like tone.

I LIKE CEREAL! Ukitake also shouted.

Wow! The captain prodigy along with the rest of them are more blowed that a baloon. Kisuke stated. Yeah and more baked than a cake. Yoruichi added. Their more high than the stars at night.Soi-fon added on Hurry up and get to land so we can get the hell out of here! Yoruichi ordered. Well getting arrested in a human jail isn't that nuch of a problem is it? Byakuya asked. Yes it is! Orihime replied. If we get caughyt we go to jail. If we go to jail we get stripped searched. If we get stripped seached their gonna take those earrings of yours. If they take the earring and throw us in a cell were left with two options before the trial. One, stay and wait while risking getting raped by one of the prisoners. Two, escape and be tracked down by your lieutenants while being forced to go back to the soul society. As for Uryu, Ichigo, Chad and I we get fired from our jobs and will be forced to free load off of Urahada for the rest of our days. Now Captain Kuchki if you don't want that then fly this motherfucker and get us the fuck out of this city. The red-orange haired girl ordered.

Wow Orihime torched your ass Byakuya! Kisuke added. Don't instigate Urahada and look we're at the landing point at last on top of the Miami Beach hotel .Oh! and look the S.W.A.T team is still behind by a few miles. Now what? Uryu asked. We get out of Miami that's what. Soi-Fon answered and before we go down to the parking lot to get into our new cars that are actually cars Kuchki I gotta wake up those five becuase I'm not hanging around a bunch of doped boys the rest of the night. Soi-Fon then pulled out a weird plant from her pants pocket at burned it with a complimentary litter. She then waved the plant in front of the five baked people and suddenly they came back to their senses.

Where are we? Ukitake asked. Why don't I feel happy anymore? Chad also asked. Back to beeing bored again. Kenpachi sadly said. This is just great I'm back to noraml and it's still night time. Ichigo complained. Wow what a drag. Toshiro lazily stated. There no time for your complaining we have to get to the hotel parking lot. Ishida ordered. Wait! We're back at the hotel? What ever happened to the yaht. Ukitake asked. Apparently dope is illegal in this country and Hitsugaya had the ship filled with it. Soi-Fon explained. This is just great! I knew this country sucked, I can't even have smokes without it being illegal. Okay did you all forget that we're getting xhased down by the S.W.A.T team? Yoruichi asked. WHAT THE FUCK?! We're getting chased by the S.W.A.T? Ichigo shouted aghast. Yes and i you would stop complaining, we could get the hell out of here.Kuskue added.

So the group then went to the parking lot and pushed through the incoming guest along the way. After going down the 32 flights of stairs they finally made it to the parking lot. Once there Ichigo,Jushiro,Byakuya, and Kisuke pulled out sets of car keys. Ukitake unloked the doors to a silver two seated convertabel corvete that had two emerald green stripes on the hood. Once Jushiro along with Toshiro got into their car Byakuya unlocked the doors to a black Mercedes Benz Maybot and got in along with Uryu and Kenpachi. Ichigo then had a gold Lexis Godess(okay I made the car up) on autodrive come in front of him while getting in along with Rukia,Orihime, and Chad. Kisuke then went to crimson convertable Mercedes Benz and had Yoruichi and Soi-Fon come with him.

Alright now that everyone situated let's blow this motherfucker! Ichigo said as he started the car and pulled off. Everyone else soon followed him. Now on the streets of Miami speeding throught trafic the gang had tought that they were in the clear. Boy were they wrong. Once they passed the next light Jushiro saw three police cars and five S.W.A.T trucks.

Pull the fuck over! Said a reappearing Goodman. Will that son of a bitch leave us alone? Soi-Fon asked. Suddenly both the cops in the cars and the S.W.A.T team in the trucks were shooting at the gang. One bullet even managed to get Ukitake's corvete. Oh hell no! They can yell at us, shoot at us, bt when they attack the cars they're going down. Ukitake said getting ready to use a kido. Stop man! If you do that our lieutenants with find us. Toshiro warned. Not with these they won't. Ukitake said while putting the spirit earrings on that have just be recharged. I charged them up once the party started. Oh! Then blast them already. Toshiro then started to perform a kido of his of. Path of destruction 4 Pale lightning. Ukitake then fired a stream of lightning from his finger and took out three cars making them explode. Toshiro then shot a bean of lightning like ice at the trucks and froze them in an instant. Okay they're dead lets pull over and get these soul burials over with. Byakuya said.

When the shinigami stepped out of their gigais they went over to the deceased officer. Rukia on the other hand went to erase the memories of the spectating people.We're sorry for all the trouble dude. Toshiro said to Goodman. We just wanted a party but we didn't mean to kill you and all of your companions. Yes we did. Soi-Fon interupted. Shut up! Toshiro snapped. Anyway we should really send you guys to the soul society. Don't worry about it man. My job sucked anyway and I was gonna kill myself tommorow. But you weird shinigami people saved me some time. Goodman replied. Yeah this place isn't as fun as it seems. One of the officers added. I have to ask you S.W.A.T officers something. Where an we actually have a party where we can spend money have fun and smoke dope without the authorities interupting? Ukitake asked. You really don't know? Simple go to Las Vegas,Nevada there's a good time to be held there.

Thanks for the info! Now lets get these soul burials out of the way. Byakuya said. As the guards went to rest in peace Orihime and Uryu came back from a store with two twelve packs of bear. I just bought these in case it got boring over the next couple of days. Orihime said. Well you made a good decision girl. Kenpachi stated. Alright looks like we're going to Las Vegas. Byakuya said. Well lets get to it. Kisuke said as he went to the car. Okay this was a weird day. We got here, went and bought new clothes, go a hotel room for a night, made a bunch of buisness deals in order to have a party, had the boat party, got busted by the S.W.A.T team for smugling unauthorized good and having durgs on board, and we found an even better vacation spot than this one. I say this was a weird day. Yoruichi said.

As everyone got back into their cars and pulled off Toshiro finally asked, "Okay does anyone know how to get to Vegas before we start driving around in circles?" Don't worry Hitsugaya every thing will work out just fine. Kisuke said.

_14 hours later in downtown Detroit,MI in the tax riot._

All fine huh Urahada! Toshiro said as he began dodging bullets. Great yet another failure from the crack pot. Soi-Fon added. How the hell we end up in Michigan and Detroit of all places? Rukia asked. I don't know but what I do know is that we're getting the hell out of here before someone messes up my corvete again. Ukitake asked. Hey where's Captain Zeraki? Chad asked.

Whooooho! This is fun!. Kenpachi shouted as he began beating up random people. Nonono I am getting out of here out of here... leave him in leave him in. Uryu said as he pulled of with Byakuya. Hey wait for us! Ichigo shouted as he and the rest of the group except Zeraki went chasing after the two.

* * *

The dope song

This is a song dedicated to when Ichigo,Ukitake,Toshiro,Chad, and Kenpachi were **high**

**Toshiro: We're moonman in the zoon**

**Ukitake: We're monnman on the moon**

**Chad : We're on the moon? Sweet!**

**Kenpachi: We are? Wow! T****he moon's big. **

**Ichigo: I like cheese! Crackers and cheese!**

**Toshiro: I wanna cracker too!**

**Kenpachi: No I want a cracker more!**

**Ichigo: I don't have any crackers**

**Chad: I want jelly beans!**

**Ichigo: No I want jelly beans more.**

**Toshiro: We don't have jelly beans.**

**Ukitake: Look at the rainbow. It's on the moon.**

**Kenpachi: Hehehehe! We're on the moon**

**Ichigo: And we're moonyman.**

**All:WE'RE MOONYMAN ON THE MOON**

**All:AND WE SEE RAINBOWS AND JELLY BEANS.**

* * *

A/N: Well that was chapter six hoped you liked it. I'll have chapter seven up as soon as possible. Please review.(and no flames) 


	7. Chapter 7,How to get to Vegas

Captains' night out

By: Moonice

Series: Bleach

Rating; T and M just for safety

Genre; Comedy/Drama

Characters; Ichigo, Jushro, Toshiro, Kenpachi, Byakuya, Soi-Fon and other characters

Summary: Have you ever wondered what would happen if five of the most stressed out captains in the soul society decided to sneak out of the Sertei and go on vacation in the human world.well I do and this is it

This is my very first fanfiction please be gentle with the ratings. Although I want to do a Hitsu/Matsu pairing I decide it would be more interesting to write a humor story first. I don't owe the creative genius behind Bleach(Tite Kubo) or any of his characters. So without further distraction I introduce my first fanfiction.By the way this takes place ten years after the battle with Aizen

Captains' night out.

**Chapter 7: How To get to Vegas.**

_A/N: This is a short chapter that explains the situation so far. I assure you readers thought that the next chapter will be the most interesting of them all_

In Time Square,New York the gang was once again lost. Well I have to admit even if we are lost across the country this is still better than Detroit. Rukia said while carrying two shopping bags that said GUESS on them. Rukia, any place was and will always be better than Detroit. Orihime added who was also carrying shopping bags. Yeah I agree with that. Anyway where is Uryu with those directions? Rukia asked. I'm right here Kuchki! Uryu replied while running to the group with a map. Hey Uryu! So where do we go?. Orihime asked. Turns out we're far from Las Vegas and by car it would take a good week before we got there. Uryu replied. We don't have a week Uryu and our bosses don't know that we left the job yet. A worried Orihime explained. I am the boss of that company stupid! Uryu replied. Well we could always ask my brother seeing that he always has something up his sleeve. Rukia stated.

Almost a quarter to five in the evening the rest of the gang had drove up to where Uryu, Rukia and Orihime were. Wow this place is such a dirty fucking trap! Ichigo shouted. I mean first this guy tries to rip me off by trying to sell me fake jewelry. Then these crackheads tried to sell heroin and cronic to us. Finally these wantabe gangster bitches tried to beat both me and Chad up. Your day had nothing on our problems. Soi-Fon said. Guys everywhere kept on grabbing our asses and asking if we could fuck them for money. Next off, these thugs came and hopelessly tried to rape Yoruichi and me but we beat em down. Well Byakuya is still doing something in the stock maket exchange today but Toshiro Kisuke and I met Santa Claus today and had to beat him up. Ukitake said. I didn't know Santa Claus actually exsisted but why did you beat him up? Orihime asked. Because fat ass mistaked me for an elf and came down just to to get me. Toshiro angrily stated.

So where's the man with no diretion and where do we stay at? Rukia asked. Remember? We left Kenpachi in Detroit so he could kill people in that riot and I guess we'll just check out in a hotel. Ichigo replied. No Ichigo I'm not staying in this city! I wanna go to Vegas and party like an American 16 year old rich girl before going back to Japan! Orihime exclaimed. Your not 16 and besides we have to wait for Kuchki. Uryu said. Just then a silver and saphire colored helicopter descended from the sky carrying a windows logo on the side. Once it landed. An escort opened the door revealing Bill Gates and Byakuya Kuchki. Wow I didn't know Byakuya had friends in the real world. Urahada said. Hello you must be Kuchki's assosiates. Well I must say your not what I expected for employes for the Sony Entertainment company in Japan but nonetheless it is a pleasure to meet you all. It is also a pleasure to meet you as well. The others replied. Well since it's along trip to Las Vegas I sujest you all come along the helicopter. Byakuya stated.

Brother how did you meet this man? Rukia asked. We meet at the party in Miami and had a discusion on whether or not the holophone should be created and how the software for it would be manufacture. Byakuya answered. Then after the conference Byakuya and I got a chance to enjoy ourselves at the party and became good friends.Bill added. He even told me that you guys were going to Vegas to have an even greater party. Kuchki told me that he needed assistance getting there but also agreed to let me tag along with you. How the hell Byakuya get to become the owner of the company and why couldn't he just use his own helicopter to trnsport us? Urahada asked. What do you mean? Bill asked. You must know that Kuchki is the new up and coming sucessor of the Sony interprises and his office building is in Japan. Byakuya then went over to Kisuke's ear and whispered," Hostile corperate takeover my friend. You honestly didn't think that the only thing I did was buy plane tickets." Well that explains the really rich friend of your now how long is this ride going to take? Kisuke asked again.

By car it would take a near four day drive but on the helicopter about six to eight hours. Bill answered. "I'm getteing impacient sir lets get your friends and go already." The pilot demanded. Okay I'm coming. If you please, come onto the chopper and we'll be in Vegas in no time. Bill said. "Well looks like you get you wish Orihime." Uryu pointed out. "Let's just get out off New York." Toshiro added. Okay we will depart shortly but there is just someone you have to see first. Byakuya stated. Alright you can come out Zeraki. Well its about got damn time you nerds stopped talking. Kenpachi said while coming out of the helicopter. ZERAKI! The rest of the group shouted in union. That's right it's me and I'm still pissed that you left me in Detroit. Seriously that place was boring as fuck. I kicked everyones ass there and the only thing they could do was throw bottles at me at try to shoo at me with weak ass pistols. Afterwards Kuchki came with this nerd and got me out of that trap of fake on the spot. So now I hear and I'm going to Vegas with the rest of you all.

Okay as long as you don't kill us all. Toshiro said. Stop bieng scary teenager and lets go. Soi-Fon ordered. Shut up! The group then got onto the aircraft and sat down. Now if you would be so kind as to bukle up I assure you that this will be a pleasnt flight. The pilot said. The passengers did as they were instructed to do and prepared for take off. Soon the helicopter took off the New York streets and began to fly into the sky on course for Las Vegas,Nevada. But little did the group know that they were being followed. Followed by a dangerous force, mysterious force, powerful force and drunkn force. Yes back in the city of Miami the ultimate fear of the captains was realized. The lieutenants of the five squads were sober, pissed and ready to bring their captains back at all cost in order to bring peace to seretei.

Why did my chibi captain leave me? Matsumoto asked while whining of sorts. It was cuddle week and he left. Stop complaining Rangiku and lets find them. Renji stated. But how can we find Ukitake and the others when we can't sense their reatsu? Kiyone asked. I don't know but that tidbit we got from that Tensai guy got us here and Mayuri said that they were wearing some invention that hid their reatsu. Well why are we sitting here on a beach? Yachiru asked. Lets get in our gigais, and go lok for Kenny and the runaways. Okay lets make it happen. Ikkaku said. The lieutenants then began their persuit on their captains while the captains and friends were on the path to partying at Vegas.

A/N: I know the ending was kinda lame but bear with me and wait. I'll have the next chapter of both "**Captain's Night Out"** and **"Aqua Teen Bleach Force"** out soon as possible. Well that's it for now.


	8. Chapter 8,Party Poopers

Captain's Night Out

Captain's Night Out

By: Moonice

A/N: To all the people that have cared to wait for updates, I'm sorry so this next chapter is all dedicated to making whoever reads this story laugh, or at the very least chuckle a bit.

Chapter 8: It's been Canceled!

Monday, 8:15 am, Las Vegas, Nevada, Airport lobby

"Alright people let get this vacation started although I'm sorry for the long flight." Mr. Gates said as he dragged the suitcase to the exit. "You'd better be sorry! My legs were cramped in that helicopter for what seemed to be an eternity." Yoruichi complained while walking over to the door along with everyone else. "At least were here and can actually take some time off in this city." Urahada replied calmly. "Well now that we're here what do we do now?" Chad asked. "We should start by renting a car or some sort of transportation and then go look for a hotel." Byakuya replied. "Sounds like a plan" Soi-Fon said. "Well then lets go!" Orihime shouted cheerfully. Rukia was about to say something when all the sudden a giant weasel came out of a street manhole and attacked her. Rukia dodged the incoming weasel and kicked it into a wall once it landed. "Hey! Your that chick that beat me up at that Chappy the Rabbit convention!" The weakened weasel said while getting up. "Sure did and I'll beat your ass again!" Rukia shouted back. The weasel let out a growl and before it could do anything, a gang of terrorist came out of their disguises and began shooting the weasel to death with AK-47s. "What the fuck?" Ichigo shouted as he saw the foreign assailants shoot their quarry and shout bizarre phrases. After the weasel was long dead. The group had dispersed about the airport along with another group heading straight towards Ichigo's group. I might not know what Americans put up with but I'm not going to get shot at by crazy people with guns. Kenpachi said. Well the city is to busy to really care for this kind of mess so I suggest we just find something to kill time." Bill suggested. "And by kill time you mean beat the crap out of these psychos." Soi-Fon suggested. That sounds like fun. Kenpachi said while lunging at the armed killers.

They had tried to shoot at all of them but were quickly pummled by dozens of punches and kicks to the face along with Orihime stomping on them with high heels. Yoruichi had kicked one into a chair while Ukitake teamed up with Toshiro and game a terrorist, that had a bomb strapped on him, a living nightmare full a wedgies and stomping until finally Ukitake activated the bomb and threw him into the pile of beaten up terrorists. The group then left the airport lobby to go look for cars to buy as the building behind them blew up. Afterward in a nearby car dealership, Bill Gates kept on asking Byakuya how he was able to fend off a group of terrorists while Byakuya just simply went on with purchasing his car. Toshiro was arguing with Jushiro over which truck they should buy. Soi-Fon had broken up the argument by scolding Toshiro on how he was acting like a child, which started another argument. Ichigo and Chad (who not only bought their new car) but were breaking the speed limit just to get away from a crazed Kenpachi Zeraki who had gotten a hold of a tank that was parked along with the other vechiles for the use of commercials. Yoruichi had just handed the paperwork over to Urahada so she could get the tranquilizer darts out of her suitcase. She had loaded it up in the store, which caused concern in the building, which no one did anything about. Yoruichi had then gone outside to see Kenpachi leaving his tank and go chasing after Ichigo and Chad on foot. Once she got a good aim she fired the dart and directly hit Kenpachi but didn't seem to faze him. Yoruichi shot another dart at Kenpachi, which was also unsuccessful. Now Yoruichi pulled out a dart that said "Happy Person" on it and loaded it in the gun. She had shot this dart and in landed directly in Zeraki's back. Finally the battle hungry captain of squad eleven fell unconscious to the ground saving Ichigo and Chad a lot of trouble.

"We were about to be caught in some messed up shit if it weren't for that dart." Ichigo said while parking the vehicle. "You know what I need to do now Ichigo?" "What Chad?" "I need to get fried." "Hey you'd better include me or I'll freeze all your asses!" Toshiro had said this in an attempt to get high (again). "You know they should really put Toshiro on the news." Soi-Fon said. "Why?" Byakuya questioned. "Because it'd be funny if the headline showed him as a victim of child drug usage." "What's your problem with Hitsugaya anyway?" Ukitake asked while getting his car keys. " He a little smart-ass brat that what wrong with him." Soi-Fong replied angrily. "I never knew you felt so strongly about it; you must like him." Yoruichi teased. "NO I DON'T!" Soi-Fon yelled.

A/N: All right I'm going to skip the car dealer scene and go directly to the funny but brief crossover between various anime series. And here we go!

Ichigo, Chad and an anxious Toshiro, who was carrying a quarter pack, were looking for a hotel to stay in when suddenly a giant shuriken flew towards the car Ichigo was driving. The three quickly jumped out of the vehicle before the projectile hit the car, causing an explosion in the middle of the busy avenue. Soon afterwards a rush of panicking citizens were stampeding away from the explosion shouting things such as "Terrorists!" or "Osama's back!" "Who would attack us with a giant shuriken?" Chad asked. "I think I know who it is." Ichigo replied. "So are you going to tell us?" Toshiro asked. "It none other than the greatest ninja in all the world, NARUTO USAMAKI!" Called Naruto who yelled in a high-pitched tone on tom of the Mc. Donald's sign down the street. " What in world are you doing Naruto?" Ichigo asked. "I'm here because I want a rematch!" Naruto yelled." "What the f… are you still mad because girl thought I looked better than you at the "Anime Convention"? Ichigo asked. "YES… I mean NO… I mean…argh! I'm here to reclaim my title as Sexiest Anime character!" Naruto yelled. "Did you just say… that wasn't even an official title you fag!" Ichigo yelled. "I am not a f…" Before Naruto could finish his comeback a transmutation circle appeared below his few and caused walls to form around his body trapping him. " Be quiet fag!" The fame Edward Elric A.K.A Fullmetal Alchemist said now coming out of the Mc. Donalds restaurant.

"Yet another person who doesn't belong, well lets find out the end to all of this and soon because I really wanna light this up." Toshiro stated. "The three Bleach character ran to the fast food restaurant to asks the outsiders how the hell they got into the Bleach world. "Hey I'm the one taking revenge on Ichigo not you!" Naruto tried to shout that last sentence out but it came out as more of a whimper. "Will you all shut the hell up!" A familiar voice shouted while launching a gigantic mana powered sword that put Zangetsu to shame. A tired and very pissed off Yoh Asakura was ready to attack both Edward and Naruto with intent to kill. "I've had about enough of this." Toshiro said. The annoyed captain then left his gigai and drew Hyourimaru; aiming the ice zanpakuto at all three targets. "So you want to fight right? Well do it somewhere else before I kill all of you!" Toshiro shouted. "Bring it white-hair! The sooner I beat all of you, the sooner I can take my nap." Yoh stated. "Two youngster and a lazy bum, this is too easy!' Naruto stated. "Well bring it on bitch!" Edward yelled back. Suddenly a familiar chant was heard from on of the greatest anime characters of all time. Goku, who was in his SS4 form at the time chanted, "Ka-me-ha-me…" Just before he could finish Ichigo had yelled, EVERYBODY RUN!" The anime characters stopped arguing and ran from the enraged super sayain before he shouted "HA!" An intense beam of light was shot down, destroying not only the Mc.Donalds but also three city blocks. "Well they got the message, and to think I was going to threaten to destroy the entire planet was simply too much." Goku had sad this to himself before getting ready to leave when suddenly Naruto shouted. "Hey monkey bitch!" Goku had teleported behind Naruto and punched him in the gut, sending him flying into space. Naruto was last seen hitting his head on a satellite while exiting Earth gravitational field, soaring throughout the emptiness of the cosmos.

"Don't worry he'll be back I didn't kill him." Goku said to the group of remaining anime characters. "Hope not, fagot ass motherfucker." Edward mumbled under his breath. "Is he really gone?" Sasuke asked not coming out of a bank wearing a white tuxedo and carrying a brief case that was probably full of money. "For a while yes…yes he is." Yoh replied with his now normal laidback tone. "Thank God, Kami, Zeus, Buddha, Allah, whatever the hell you call him or her, thank you!" Sasuke shouted with joy. "So what are you going to do now?" Chad asked. "I'm going to buy the series from my creator and call it…" "Let me guess "Sasuke" Toshiro interrupted. "Hell no! I'm going to change the entire plot of the series. Transform the series into ninja hentai, and broadcast it on cable for absolutely free, making billions in the process. " Sasuke explained. "But wouldn't you have to make a bunch of clones of Tsunade or at least hire some new girls for the series because last time I checked, your show was flat city. Ed stated. Your right any one got any ideas?" Sasuke asked. "We got a quarter pack!" Ichigo stated. Well why didn't you say so lets crack that shit out!" Sasuke shouted in excitement. "But we can't just go burning stuff in the middle of a street." Yoh advised. "Yeah well we still got that empty bank Sasuke came out off." Chad reminded them. "Like Sasuke said lets crack that shit out!" Toshiro yelled. "How will this help you think anyway?" Edward asked.

Inside the Las Vegas "Bank of America" vault 1 hour later. (yes it another high sequence)

Goku: HAHAHAHA! Your damn right Sasuke Sakura is the queen of bitches!

Toshiro: Yeah but Ino's the God off bitches!

Ichigo: Hehehe! I'm glad I don't have to hang around bitchy girls, well not a lot anyway.

Sasuke: Lucy bastard.

Yoh: Hey man weren't you supposed to be thinking about something about some kinda hent…hint…teddy… oh hentai thing?

Edward: As of now I'm surprised anyone gives a shit any more.

Ichigo: Hey where did all the people go?

Goku: Um… who cares?

Toshiro: (while smoking his handmade blunt) whadddaya want with me girl…. Yeah I'm talking to you girl…hey come back here!

Ichigo: Hey look it's a crack baby!

Chad: Who's he talking to?

Sasuke: Who are you talking to like that man?

Chad: I didn't say anything.

Sasuke: What!

Chad: What? 

Yoh: I'm hungry!

Edward: Hahaha…whoa everything's…so…spin- (passes out)

Ichigo: That's one down. Haha!

Toshiro: Hey that girl got away! And I'm not a crack baby Ichiho!

Ichigo: What did you just…(passes out beside Goku)

Goku: This is just perfect just freaking prefect….ah…hey I'm bout to…(fall back and passes out)

Sasuke: Now I'm hungry and sleepy!

Yoh: (falls out on top off Edward)

Toshiro: Total gayness right their! That some really nasty shiii…(Fall forward and passes out)

Sasuke: Why's everybody falling aslee…(Passes out on top of his blunt)

Chad: What the fu…(Falls out by Ichigo)

(End of high sequence)

"Hey wake up Chad! Chad! Chad! Chad! CHAD!" Orhime yelled and then afterwards kicked the sleeping man out of the chair he was in. "Ungh! Hey where am I?" Chad questioned. "Hurry up you to we have to get out of here before they come." Jushiro warned. "Who are they?" Chad asked. "There the… Haters!" Orihime answered. "Apparently Kisuke discovered six high reatsus have followed us here." Kenpachi added. "Um… How did I get here?" Chad asked. "You were sleeping while we were driving to the airport." Uryu answered. "Oh!" Chad replied while still vaguely remembering what had happened before he blacked out. "Come on we have to get out of here!" Ichigo shouted. "What's with all the yelling Ichigo?" Rukia asked. "I just realy don't want to see them right now while I'm on vacation." Ichigo replied. "We've already have the tickets lets just get on the plane." Byakuya stated. As the five captains along with their buddies (Bill Gates included) boarded the plane a sinister group of people was on their way to the city.

8:25pm desert highway inside a trailer

"Why did the leave us?" A woman with long strawberry-blonde hair asked while drinking the little supply of alcoholic beverages the RV offered. "Why are you drinking Rangiku?" A red-haired man with tattooed eyebrows asked. "Why's everyone asking questions?" A large bandaged fat-man eating a rice cracker asked. "Booby, Red, Fatty shut-up." A small girl with pink hair said to the three. "Be quiet demon child!" A small girl with blond hair yelled. "He Kiyone is that a shooting star." A tall man with a goatee (who was driving the RV) asked? "Hey I want to see a shooting star!" The excited pink-haired girl shouted while running towards the front of the RV. "NO! You get back there Yachiru!" The goatee man yelled! " Be quiet monkey!" Yachiru stated back. "Hey does that shooting star look like it's coming at us?" Kiyone asked suddenly the close object crashed right in front of the RV. "What was that?" The goatee man asked. "Why don't you check it out Sentaro." Kiyone said mockingly. The redhead was the first to exit the vehicle in order to observe the crater. Before he could get any closer something had leaped out of the crater. He stood there, dumb folded, before he could recognize the figure before him. The being hade blonde hair and whisker-like scars on his cheeks which made the being look like a human cat. "I'm Naruto Usamaki the container for the kyuubi and…" The screaming man running towards the RV and slamming the door behind him cut off Naruto's speech.

"Renji what the hell?" The fat man yelled. "I don't have time for this Marechiyo Naruto's out there." Renji quickly stated. "Oh we'll see about that!" Sentaro stated before starting the RV. Before Naruto could react he was ran over by the vehicle. As it drove away the hyperactive ninja managed to mutter out a soft-spoken, "Damn it!" before losing consciousness.

End Chapter

A/N: What will the five captains do for fun now, where in the world did the rest of the crossover characters go, with the four lieutenant and two third seats find and retrieve their captains? Will the weasel Rukia fights finally die, and will this author continue to add chapters to the story? Stay tuned for more of Captains Night Out.


	9. Chapter 9,Busted:Part Two

Captains' Night Out

By: MoonIce

A/N: Apologies for the long pause from updating. After thinking about it I've finally came up with an idea for what to do for the chapter. But enough explaining it time for the chapter to begin.

Disclaimer: Do I really need to say it?

Chapter 9: Busted: Part 2

12:01 pm, Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Inside of the Starbucks coffee shop in Milwaukee, Wisconsin three stranger that were alien to the area sat with surprisingly calm demeanors. "Greeting fellow reader. I'm Sosuke Aizen former shinigami captain of squad five. My companions here are Gin Ichimaru, former shinigami captain of squad three, and Kaname Tousen, former shinigami captain of squad nine. Although you are all probably wonder why we're all here drinking coffee instead of being a pile of asses looked up inside of a secluded vault after the war for world stability, I'm just going to keep all of you in the dark until the time is right." As the devious shinigami took another sip of his coffee the violet-haired blind man replied. "Isn't that kind of injust." Of couse not Tousen, because the readers get a tad bit of information about this story and get questions answered that they were probably wondering about. Aizen stated. "Gin would you please be so kind as to display the information for us."

"I have no idea why I have to do this but here some key points in the story that haven't been discussed of brought up much." Gin stated as he pulled out a portable Blue-ray player. "While tracking our friendly rebels and former enemies movement we discovered some point that haven't been explained before. For example how is it that everyone's able to get around America while being native to Japan? The answer is that only four people speak English. These three are Kisuke Urahara, Uryu Ishida, Byakuya Kuchiki, and Rukia Kuchki. Another point that hasn't been made clear is the currency that they spend in America. While two thirds of our friend pay for product such a car and clothing, only one third actually buys them for the rest of the group. And just for fun I would like to mention that Mr. Gates understands common Japanese phases such as the ones used by Toshiro and Yoruichi."

"Now it's time for the really fun stuff." Ichimaru said as he put a disk into the blue-ray player. "Now I would like to show you a how the violent relationship between Rukia and the Giant weasel began.

(Movie Begins to play)

"Plushie-Con 2010"

The screen displayed thousands of little girls (and Rukia) lined up to get a picture taken with Chappy the Rabbit. The youthful looking heiress to the Kuchki family was next in line to get her picture taken with Chappy the Rabbit. There were many other mascots for sure with crowded lines but the line for Chappy the rabbit was unbelievable. After the little girl in front of Rukia received her picture and ran off with an extremely cheerful expression on her face, Rukia nearly tackled the giant stuffed animal with a crushing hug. "Um excuse me little miss but your really shouldn't be grabbing the chappy like that." Said the photographer. "I'm sorry." Rukia earnestly replied on the verge of tears after looking at the slightly ruffled Chappy plush. "Alright now say Chappy." The photographer stated. Just before Rukia could reply a giant weasel mascot roughly pushed Rukia away for the Chappy plush and proceded to tear it to shreds. Afterwards the giant weasel mascot began to terrorize the young Chappy fans.

The masses ran out in panic of the giant maniacal mascot. Only a teary-eyed Rukia was left in the vacant building staring at the shredded chappy plush. As the weasel chased down the chappy fan girls, the hell raiser finally said "Haha, Take that Chappy the Rabbit now you no longer have any fans that care about because…" I'm going to kill YOU! The weasel was cut off by the threat. "Hey who said?" Argh! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! The weasel turned around only to be brutally tackle by what appeared to be a small black-haired girl. "Hey you're supposed to be fle…" The weasel was cut by a punch to the face by Rukia. Before he could make a comment Rukia landed a gut-busting fist straight to the weasel's stomach. The weasel tried to block her but instead received a devastating kick to the nether regions of his being.

The video continued to display images of Rukia beating the unlucky mascot's face into the ground. The conclusion of Rukia's fury showed rapid powerful stomping on the weasel before Gin paused the violent video. "Well that was funny wasn't it? Now I should really go on to interesting detail about…" Gin you really going to want to see this. Tousen said cutting off Ichimaru's statement. "What now I thought you wanted me to tell you about the hidden secrets in this story?" Yeah but now the clocks going again and this news report has some major information to the story. Aizen stated while still looking at the television set in the Starbucks. "The news report stated that there's a Japanese car chase causing massive destruction to the city all the while causing strange phenomenon to happen such a snow falling in the middle of summer." Aizen said. " Should we check it out?" Ichimaru asked. "No I don't besides the coffee here is really good and I'm sure this will all die down quickly.

(Meanwhile on the freeway)

"You know all I wanted was some time off, some time to get away from my work but you know what, my work comes back to me in blond hair and chaos." Toshiro Hitsugaya stated while throwing spiked ice sphere at the speeding R.V. catching up to the rest of his comrades. "How'd they find us anyway?" Ichigo asked while driving, desperately trying to get away from the firing hado spells. "How should I know? I didn't think they would even notice our disappearance." The white hair captain replied while trying to distract their pursuers. "Where the hell is Kisuke when you need him?" Byakuya asked while trying his best to steer the vacationers away from the approaching enemy. Suddenly, Byakuya crashed into a car that had for some reason stopped in front of him. The collision had completely smashed the front of the minivan Byakuya was driving as well as the motor.

"Well isn't this just great? Now we have to go out to the annoyance of the world." Byakuya said while getting out of the vehicle; perfectly prepared to face a force of power great enough to make any politician waver. "I thought Naruto was the annoyance of the world." Ichigo stated. "No, he's the annoyance of the universe." Toshiro corrected. As the three men exited the damaged vehicle, six familiar figures stepped out of the RV that was right behind them. The nine figures seemed unfazed by the wreckage and blocked traffic surrounding them on the free way. "Seriously where is Kisuke when you need him?" Byakuya asked.

The six shinigami that had previously been in the RV approached the three vacationers with volumes of anger concealed in their eyes; ready to unleash their fury upon them. "Hello Matsumot…" The young captain was cut off by a strong smack to the face by the busty blonde. "Shut the hell up captain! You don't deserve to talk right now." Normally Toshiro would have frozen his lieutenant in four tons of ice but at the moment he was too stunned to do anything. "In fact, none of you traitorous bastards deserve to say anything." Renji added while loading a shogun and pointing it at Byakuya. Time to kick their asses! Sentaro shouted while blindly charging at the three obviously stronger shinigami. As Ichigo prepared to transform into a shinigami, a young pink haired girl hoped on top of Sentaro's head sending him straight into the ground.

"Bad Sentaro! Bad!" Yachiru said as if she were commanding him like a dog. "You can't beat Byakushi. In fact, none of us can. Byakushi is the best." Yachiru added. "What do you mean? Even if they are captains, they can't just leave out the blue." Kiyone said. "Why not? You ingrates do it every single day!" Byakuya stated. "Because who else is going to do work for us?" Marechiyo added. "Speeking of work, where are Captains, Zeraki, Ukitake, and Soi-Fon." Renji asked. "You know that a very good question." Ichigo said. Meanwhile, during the captain and lieutenant confrontation, the following was taking place at Six-Flags.

"Hey! Where are Ichigo and the others? More importantly, where is ? But more importantly than that, when will ever be able to ride the new "Dark Knight?" Orihime asked while eating a strawberry and what appeared to be orange, mixed with mint ice cream topped with grape nerds. "I think he had to leave for an important company meeting or he just might be on the more time-convenient Chappy twist which I SUGEESTED BUT NO YOU JUST HAD TO GET IN LINE FOR THE "DARK KNIGHT!" Rukia angrily shouted at the fiery-red head. "Why are you so loud?" Ishida, asked while standing in line along with Ukitake and Yoruichi. "But seriously, Orihime this sucks." Ukitake added. "Why didn't we get on the Superman like Kisuke and Soi-Fon?" Yoruichi asked while eating vanilla ice cream on a cone. "Don't worry it won't be much longer before we expierience the greatest moments of our lives." Orihime said optimistically.

While the wary vacationers waited in the long line, things were going differently on the Superman west of the "Dark Knight". "Why are all of these people screaming? I mean c'mon they're screaming like their being raped by monkeys." Soi-Fon asked while strapping herself in the seat of the ride. "It's just way in which people enjoy themselves." Kisuke replied while strapping himself to the seat right next to Soi-Fon. "I still don't like you." Soi-Fon coldy responded while making sure the bars were secure over her body. The captain was caught off guard when the ride had started and she was laying forward wither legs dangling over the metal platform she was previously standing on. "What's happening, Soi-Fon asked a little startled. "The ride had begun!" Kisuke asked prepared for the experience to come.

Back to the "Dark Knight" ride that was to the right of the "Superman", things had made a turn for the worst. "WHAT DO YOU FUCKERS MEAN I'M TOO SHORT!?" Rukia asked furiously at the ride attendants. "Sorry ma'am but you have to be at least 5.0ft to get on the ride." One of the attendants told her wavering under Rukia's fury. "I'M GETTING ONTHAT FUCKING RIDE WHETHER YOU FUCKERS LIKE IT OR NOT!" Rukia screamed while storming throught the attendants in order to get on the ride. Ukitake immediately lunged after Rukia. "You can't get on, you're too short." Ukitake said which make Rukia even angrier. "Litsen here! I didn't stand in line for four hours straight just to be told by some fucking nerds that I'm too short to ride on the "Dark Knight! Now get out of my way so I can get on and hopefully try to cope with the four-hour waste of my life. "Hey! Get outta here you noisy bitch! Other people have lives too you know." A pedestrian that was waiting in line shouted.

"Hey Yoruichi! Do you still have those tranquilizers?" Ishida asked? "Yes; why do you ask?" Yoruichi responded. "Because we're going to be in a whole lot of shit." Ishida replied. "You shouldn't use profanity Uryu." Orihime advised kindly. "Yeah…we're going to need a whole lot of tranquilizers." Ukitake added on while dodging a raging Rukia who had begun to maul a misfortunate bystander. "I thought we were on vacation." Orihime stated while dodging the flying people that Rukia had swatted. "The key phrase in that sentence is "we we're." Ishida said while shifting his glasses. "This is some bullshit." Yoruchi commented. As the situation in the "Dark Knight" ride became hectic, things on the freeway became disastrous.

The lieutenants had begun to fight Ichigo and the two-shinigami captains. Despite being outnumbered, the three were beating the living hell out of the lieutenants. Toshiro had just frozen Sentaro and Kiyone with only one attack. Ichigo had once again beaten the crap out of Marechiyo unarmed althought he was struggling against the small pink-haired powerhouse known as Yachiru. Byakuya had yet again easily beat Renji without so much as a speck of dirt on his shinigami robes. Rangiku tried to duel her captain in a kido match but was put down quicker than the Flash runs a marathon. Property damage and car collisions decorated the slaughter fest. Helicopters that had crashed into the freeway due to Hyourimaru affecting the flying weather could also be seen among the wreckage. The National Guard had tried to break up the scuffle between the shinigami but was broken up by Byakuya's shikai release. Now the U.S army had surrounded the battling shinigami.

"This is just freaking great! Now the human world thinks the apocalypse is occurring. See what you all did! See how much trouble you've gotten us into?" Toshiro exclaimed while fending off another sloppy attack from the exhausted Rangiku. "What do you mean what we did? None of this would have happened if you would have just stayed in the soul society along with the rest of the captains." Rangiku replied in a huff of breath. "Yeah! How come you couldn't just stay home Byakushi?" Yachiru asked while pinning down Ichigo. "Stop calling me Byakushi!" Byakuya yelled. "It's because of things like this, why we decided to just get away from you all." Toshiro added on. "Things like what captain? Nicknames!" Rangiku asked angrily. "No it's everything, the coming in extremely drunk to the sleeping on the job and lets not forget leaving on the job." Toshiro stated. "In fact I sometimes just think about transferring you to a different squad altogether. Although the thought of killing you now and ending this headache altogether doesn't seem so bad either."

Everyone was taken back by the young captains words, most of all Rangiku. "Wow Toshiro that was harsh." Ichigo stated. "How could you do that to your lieutenant? I've been trying to do this with Renji for years." Byakuya stated also shocked but more so envious. "Wow! Who knew whitey could be so mean. Yachiru stated still pinning Ichigo down. Rangiku just stood in her place and then did something no one would expect. Rangiku Mutasumoto began to cry. At first it was just a few tears, which turned into a silent sob and finally broke out into full-blown wailing. Toshiro was taken back but quickly got over it and went to go comfort Rangiku. As he went to approach the sobbing lieutenant, Rangiku had quickly run away from Toshiro. "Stay away from me! Leave me alone since you hate me so much!" Rangiku screamed while letting out more sobs. "Rangiku I…" Toshiro was cut of by a smack to the face by the crying blonde that sent him flying at least eight feet away from her.

"I said leave me alone captain! If you hate me so much why don't you just kill me? Or maybe you really are just a scared little boy who's just pretending to be a captain." Rangiku stated with the fierceness of a tiger. Toshiro's mood was shifting from regret to anger due to Rangiku's comments. "Rangiku listen to me I don't hate you I just…" Toshiro was cut of by Rangiku once again but not with any physical abuse but with word. "Just what captain? JUST WHAT! TELL ME WHAT YOU WERE I'D REALLY LIKE TO HEAR IT!" Rangiku screamed at her captain. "I was just tired of having to do everything by myself. I mean, I have to do everything and I don't get any time to myself even when Unohana says that I should. I just wanted to have some time to take a break from everything that I have to do to keep the squad running and to keep my job. I'm sorry I threatened you like that Rangiku its just that at the time I was very frustrated and wanted to get away from my job. In fact I actually enjoy your company Rangiku." Afterwards Rangiku had stopped crying and began to calm down a little. "You really like being by me captain?" Rangiku asked with hopefulness. "Yes I do in fact you bring a little warmth and somehow joy into my day. Rangiku I want to say…" Toshiro for the third time in a row but instead of being slapped or yelled at, he was being crushed due to a choking glomp delivered by none other that Rangiku Mastumoto.

"Oh! Captain I'm sorry. I'm sorry I make your job so hard. But I won't ever do this to you ever again!" Rangiku said apologetically. "Do what again? Tired me out to the point of desertion or crushing me until my face turns blue." Toshiro gasped out while struggling free from Rangiku's death grip. "Love you to captain." Rangiku replied while putting her captain down onto the ground. "And since we're here, we might as well go to "Six Flags". The blonde added. "Rangiku let me just make it clear that if you tell anyone about this I'll make sure your stacked up in so much paperwork that "GreenPeace" will sue me." Toshiro sternly replied. "Gotcha captain." Rangiku answer in her now normal jolly tone of voice.

"Hey! It's a great thing that you resolved your problem but we had better get back to our bodies and get the hell out of here really fast." Ichigo entered in. "Because secret agents have just passed the barrier Senbon Sakura made and are going to take our bodies back to Area 51." The orange haired shinigami added. "This is just perfect. Now we have to escape and play babysitter for these unconscious folks." Byakuya stated while dragging Renji and Marechiyo back to their gigais and into the RV. "Hado no.4 Byakurai" Toshiro chanted as a ray of lightning struck the ice sculpture that Kiyone and Sentaro were incased in. The two third-seats couldn't as any questions before they were thrown back into their gigais and dragged along towards the RV. Yachiru had jumped off of Ichigo and followed in suit with the others.

Just before the shinigami's could get into the RV, three secret agents shot tranquilizers at the group. "Ah shit!" Ichigo added as he dodged the needles. One of the soldiers that were part of the army blockade used a tank cannon to destroy the RV. "Aw crap, Aw damn, Ah shit!" Ichigo shouted as the group was surrounded. "Extraterrestrial life forms, you are now property of the United States government in body mind and s…" The agent that was talking was cut off by literally having his hand cut off. Before anyone in the U.S platoon, agents, soldiers and all could react, jet-black flames spurred out all around the shinigami preventing anyone or anything from coming near them. "What the hell is this?" The agent with the severed hand asked. "Retreat! The soldiers started yelling while the black sea of flames approached them.

Even the news choppers began to move away. Inside the ring of black fire however things weren't so hectic and chaotic. In fact things were pretty calm. "Looks like manga beats media yet again." A familiar voice stated. "Sasuke." Toshiro stated with some surprised. "Who did you think it was? Light Yagami?" Sasuke said while appearing to the group in a flare a red flames. "Not that I'm ungrateful but what are you doing here?" Rangiku asked. "I just thought that I would start my hentai tv network in America since this is where all the nerds are. Now its time for me to buy me a broadcasting station and hopefully hit success in due time but until then I'll be catching you party people latter." With that Sasuke and the black flames disappeared leaving the shinigami stranded in a deserted but destroyed freeway with nothing but their breaths of air creating noise. "What type of shit is this?" Toshiro shouted out.

Now back to the amusement park of "Six Flags", Kisuke and Soi-Fon wait at the exit for Yoruichi and co. "WOW THAT WAS SUPER FUN! REMEMBER WHEN THE THING MADE A LOOP AND THEN IT WENT DOWN AND MADE A LOOP AND THEN WE WENT UP REALLY HIGH AND THEN IT WENT REALLY REALLY FAST!" The excited Soi-Fon repeated for what Kisuke thought the 200th time. "Where are you Yoruichi?" Kisuke asked while listening to the energetic Soi-Fon yet again. "During this time the following took place at the ever crowded "Dark Knight" ride. Rukia had just been neutralized by Yoruichi and had fled the premises while running from the guards. "Note to self, never go to Six Flags again." Ukitake said while running from the mob of guards.

Meanwhile, during the time of Rukia's episode and the clash between the lieutenants and captains, six men were about to retire from, in their minds, the perfect day. "Man who knew sitting back and doing nothing but eating and watching other people hurt themselves be so much fun." Kenpachi said while drinking another bottle of Heineken beer. "Yeah this is the life just sitting back in a room temp hotel doing nothing." Chad replied. "I almost feel bad for telling everyone to go to "Six Flags" on Friday 13th." Bill added while eating some nachos. "Are you kidding? That the fun in manipulating people; knowing that your okay and they're not." Aizen entered in with a six-pack of beer. "Now we can really enjoy the event." Tousen stated. Chad had turned the channel to the news, which would state the main events of the day. "And it all starts in 3,2,1…NOW!" Gin shouted.

The anchorman had begun by saying, "In today's new there a terrible accident on I:92 in which the true meaning of bad luck was laid out in property damage, law suits, and destruction of city property. Next at Six Flags, a small girl threw a big tantrum and sent twenty-five people to the hospital. "AW YEAH!" The six men shouted in union as they drank their beer.

A/N: Yes the end to my story is in sight. What will happen between Toshiro and Rangiku? What is the fate of Rukia? Will I take another gap in time to update? And how in the world did Chad and co. become friends with Aizen and co. Well I hope I have enough spark to write down my thoughts and post them.


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